What is ultimate reality? Is this material Universe all there is, or is there something beyond it? Why does something exist at all, and how did it come to be? Does God exist, and if so, who is God? People have been pondering questions like these since time immemorial. And for me, they've served as a bedrock for my pursuit of truth and understanding, and my pursuit of God.
I think I've always had an underlying belief in God. But formally, I became a dedicated Christian in college. Though my life would be forever altered, I didn't have any kind of major conversion experience. Rather, it was a story that unfolded for years. By my estimation, God was tugging on my heart, and I slowly drifted towards him. But as the years went forward, I constantly found myself with lingering questions: Does Christianity best explain the world we inhabit? How did the Bible come to be, and is it reliable? Why do we need to be forgiven, and why is "Jesus on a cross" necessary?
These questions and, many, many others, run through my mind quite frequently. I'm constantly trying to figure things out; constantly trying to gain understanding and piece things together. And at times, my faith has been significantly hindered, leading me to great doubt and uncertainty. But here's the thing: When one knocks on the door of unbelief, no one answers. If God doesn't exist, then the Universe, and we as humans, are just cosmic accidents. Life is, essentially, meaningless. There is no ultimate purpose or hope for humanity. Objectively speaking, we're no more valuable than the rocks and pebbles beneath our feet. If God doesn't exist, then I'm left with nothing but despair; nothing but cold hopelessness.
Of course, simply wishing and willing God to exist won't change the facts. But if there is someone there, then that door can be answered. And thankfully, I think God does answer. He reveals himself to us as he sees fit. And as I seek, I find that this Universe is meaningful. Life does matter. The Universe isn't a cosmic accident. Rather, it, and we, were divinely created and intended. And most importantly, loved. Do I know this with absolute certainty? Nope. Oh, how I wish I did. For now, and for the rest of my life, I'll have to live by faith. But is this faith unwarranted? I think not. Somehow we find ourselves existing in this magnificent and intelligible Universe; this truth-permitting, life-permitting, consciousness-permitting Universe. Somehow, love and goodness seem to be inseparably interwoven into the fabric of humanity. Somehow, we're able to experience beauty and pleasure. And somehow I'm here, and I can't and don't want to shake the impulse and drive I have to pursue, know, and love God.
Regardless of who we are or our position of faith, life is messy. Really messy. At times, it can be brutally painful and dreadfully agonizing. But what would make it all the worse? Believing that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Believing that only emptiness awaits us. Believing that life was meaningless at its beginning, and is meaningless at its end. But in Christ, we have hope. We have hope that this Universe was crafted by a benevolent being, and that we are his beloved. We have hope that the creator is making, and will make, all things right. In Jesus, God enters our story, our pain, our suffering, all in an effort to reconcile us to himself.
I think I've always had an underlying belief in God. But formally, I became a dedicated Christian in college. Though my life would be forever altered, I didn't have any kind of major conversion experience. Rather, it was a story that unfolded for years. By my estimation, God was tugging on my heart, and I slowly drifted towards him. But as the years went forward, I constantly found myself with lingering questions: Does Christianity best explain the world we inhabit? How did the Bible come to be, and is it reliable? Why do we need to be forgiven, and why is "Jesus on a cross" necessary?
These questions and, many, many others, run through my mind quite frequently. I'm constantly trying to figure things out; constantly trying to gain understanding and piece things together. And at times, my faith has been significantly hindered, leading me to great doubt and uncertainty. But here's the thing: When one knocks on the door of unbelief, no one answers. If God doesn't exist, then the Universe, and we as humans, are just cosmic accidents. Life is, essentially, meaningless. There is no ultimate purpose or hope for humanity. Objectively speaking, we're no more valuable than the rocks and pebbles beneath our feet. If God doesn't exist, then I'm left with nothing but despair; nothing but cold hopelessness.
Of course, simply wishing and willing God to exist won't change the facts. But if there is someone there, then that door can be answered. And thankfully, I think God does answer. He reveals himself to us as he sees fit. And as I seek, I find that this Universe is meaningful. Life does matter. The Universe isn't a cosmic accident. Rather, it, and we, were divinely created and intended. And most importantly, loved. Do I know this with absolute certainty? Nope. Oh, how I wish I did. For now, and for the rest of my life, I'll have to live by faith. But is this faith unwarranted? I think not. Somehow we find ourselves existing in this magnificent and intelligible Universe; this truth-permitting, life-permitting, consciousness-permitting Universe. Somehow, love and goodness seem to be inseparably interwoven into the fabric of humanity. Somehow, we're able to experience beauty and pleasure. And somehow I'm here, and I can't and don't want to shake the impulse and drive I have to pursue, know, and love God.
Regardless of who we are or our position of faith, life is messy. Really messy. At times, it can be brutally painful and dreadfully agonizing. But what would make it all the worse? Believing that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Believing that only emptiness awaits us. Believing that life was meaningless at its beginning, and is meaningless at its end. But in Christ, we have hope. We have hope that this Universe was crafted by a benevolent being, and that we are his beloved. We have hope that the creator is making, and will make, all things right. In Jesus, God enters our story, our pain, our suffering, all in an effort to reconcile us to himself.
I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. -C.S. Lewis
Believing in and following Christ will change the trajectory of your life, but it probably won't make it any easier. God calls us to extreme measures. And, living by faith definitely won't take away all of your pain and suffering. You, and everyone you have and will ever know, will someday pass from this life, and will at times suffer along the way. But believing in Christ gives us answers, and gives us hope. It tells us that this Universe didn't just happen upon itself; it was created for a purpose. It tells us that our instinct is right in believing that this world isn't how it ought to be. It tells us that our draw towards love and goodness aren't simply the result of a blind evolutionary process, but are baked into reality itself. It tells us that we're right in having a distaste for evilness and corruption and that loving our neighbor isn't just a suggestion, but the will of our maker. And, it gives us hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel; that there is a reason to press forward. And if I'm wrong, then so be it - it'll be an eternal secret. But in the meantime, I'll spend my life pursuing God and allowing him to use me for his will and purposes. And though my relationship with him is experienced through faith - it is so real, so enriching, so joyful.
Whoever you are, wherever you're at - might you, and we, seek God and find out what this Christian story is all about. I leave you with a prayer:
"God, you who are, the source of all reality, the creator of all existence, the maker of all things. The one upon which all else is contingent, the one upon which all else is dependant. Reveal yourself to me. Show me your love, show me your ways. Might I know you, follow you, and love you for all of my days."